A Parent's Guide to First Bras: What You Need to Know

The transition to wearing a first bra is a significant milestone in a young person's life. As a health professional who works with adolescents, I understand that this experience can bring up many emotions—excitement, embarrassment, confusion, or all three at once. This guide is designed to help parents and guardians navigate this conversation with sensitivity while ensuring their young person feels supported and confident.

Recognising When It Is Time

There is no universal age for needing a first bra. Breast development typically begins between ages 8 and 13, though this varies widely and is completely normal. Physical signs that it might be time to consider a first bra include visible breast buds (small mounds under the nipples), breast tissue that moves during physical activity, or when the young person expresses discomfort or self-consciousness about their developing body.

Equally important are the emotional and social cues. If your child's peers are wearing bras and they feel left out, or if they are trying to hide their body under baggy clothing, these may be signs they are ready to discuss options. Always let the young person lead the conversation when possible—forcing the issue can create negative associations.

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Starting the Conversation

Choose a private, relaxed moment to broach the subject. You might say something like, "I noticed you might be starting to develop. When you feel ready, I am happy to help you find something comfortable to wear." This opens the door without pressure.

First Bra Options

First bras should prioritise comfort and ease of use. Here are the most common options for young people just starting out:

Training Bras

Training bras are lightweight, non-structured bras designed for early development. Made from soft cotton or cotton blends, they provide a light layer of coverage without restricting the body. Training bras typically have no cups, hooks, or underwires—they simply pull over the head like a crop top. They are ideal for the very earliest stages of development when support is not yet needed.

Crop Top Bras

Crop top style bras offer slightly more coverage than training bras and often feature a wider band for a secure fit. They are still wire-free and generally pull on over the head. Crop tops work well as the next step up from training bras and can continue to be worn during physical activity.

Soft Cup Bras

Once breast development is more established, soft cup bras provide gentle shaping and support. These bras have defined cups but no underwire, and typically feature a back hook closure. They represent a good transition to traditional bra styles while maintaining comfort.

Finding the Right Fit

For first bras, precise sizing is less critical than comfort. Many first bras are sized using general sizing (XS, S, M, L) rather than band and cup measurements. Look for bras that feel snug but not tight, with no gaps, bunching, or digging. The bra should not ride up in the back and should allow for easy breathing and movement.

When shopping, allow the young person to try on several styles and sizes. Respect their privacy during fitting—many adolescents are self-conscious about their bodies and appreciate space to try things on alone. Be available to help if asked, but do not hover.

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Avoid Underwires Early On

Underwire bras should generally be avoided during early breast development. Young breast tissue is still developing, and underwires can potentially interfere with normal growth patterns. Soft, flexible bras are more appropriate until development is complete.

Shopping Tips

The first bra shopping experience sets the tone for how the young person will feel about undergarments in the future. Here are tips to make it positive:

Let the young person choose when and where to shop. Some prefer the anonymity of online shopping, while others want to try things on in store.
If shopping in person, choose a time when the store is less busy to reduce embarrassment.
Bring a close, trusted adult—this might be a parent, older sibling, aunt, or family friend.
Allow the young person to select styles and colours they like. This gives them ownership over the experience.
Purchase multiple options if possible. Bodies change quickly during adolescence, and what fits today may not fit in a few months.
Normalise the experience by treating it matter-of-factly, similar to shopping for any other clothing item.

Addressing Emotional Concerns

It is normal for young people to have mixed feelings about needing a bra. Some may feel excited to reach this milestone, while others may feel anxious, embarrassed, or resistant. Listen without judgment and validate whatever feelings arise.

If a young person is reluctant to wear a bra, explore the reasons. They might be uncomfortable with the physical sensation, embarrassed to have others notice, or simply not feel ready. Respect their timeline while gently explaining the practical benefits—comfort during activity, coverage under light-coloured clothing, or simply having options available when they feel ready.

Reassure them that breast development is completely normal and happens to everyone with breasts. If they are developing earlier or later than their peers, explain that there is a wide range of normal and their body is developing at its own healthy pace.

Moving Forward

As development continues, the young person's bra needs will evolve. Regular check-ins (every 3-6 months during active growth) help ensure they have comfortable, well-fitting options. Encourage them to speak up if something is uncomfortable rather than suffering in silence. Building this open communication early makes future conversations about body changes easier.

Remember, the goal is not just to provide physical support but to help the young person develop a healthy relationship with their changing body. Approach this milestone with patience, sensitivity, and positivity.