5 December 17

Shining Light On My Breasts

 

What is that part of your body that you loathe?

That you focus on when you look in the mirror?

That area when someone gives you a compliment you roll your eyes thinking they’re crazy?

The other day I was having this conversation with someone about those bits, for her it was her “wobbly” arms. For me, it was my boobs… for a long time I hated them, cursed them and looked in the mirror rolling my eyes at the size of them. When someone gave me compliment on them, I saw it as an invitation to unleash a dialogue of the vilest self-loathing you can ever imagine. I would roll my eyes and tell them…

 

How annoying they were,

How I can’t find bras or clothes to fit them,

How they put my back out,

How heavy they were,

How they made me look so such bigger than I actually was.

 

When I found bras and lingerie that didn’t look like I stole it off my Grandmother, I began not to despise them so much. Over time I started to feel good when I wore nice lingerie, even my children were babies, I would wear a lingerie set that was beautiful under track pants while changing nappies and doing the housework. It was a way for me to feel good while I was doing something that at times was a little mundane and monotonous.

Years went on and I realise the enormity of the ripple effect lingerie had on my life.

… It made me present, which probably sounds crazy but it’s true. When I walked and I could feel beautiful materials against my skin, it brought me back to the moment.

… If I had an event on and I want to feel confident I had lingerie that made me feel confident, or one for when I wanted to feel playful or empower or safe.

… Even recently when I launched my Hedonistic Business Jam’s I wore lingerie that made me feel hedonistic.

My biggest realisation was that as soon as I shined a light on the darkness all of a sudden it didn’t feel so bad anymore, over time I grew to love them and no longer roll my eyes when someone compliments them.

 

We are often afraid, hesitant or stubborn to shining the light on that thing, but on the other side is far more joyful way to look at yourself. No matter who we are or what we look like there is always something we want to change, can you even imagine saying and believing that you love all of you, perfectly imperfect?

 

What can you shine the light on?

 

 

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