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16 September 15

Redefining Sexy

Sexy is how sexy feels. 

buy junior bridesmaid dresses at theluckybridalImage by the divinely talented Nicola from My Boudoir 


The woman who you are drawn to and enjoy a sneaky second glance, who oozes that confidence that is like a seductive lure, you can’t help but look at her when you’re in her presence… It’s not bound by size, shape or color, it’s the energy she exudes.

You feel it before you see it… it’s not tangible. It’s her confidence; it’s the comfort of how she feels in her own skin.

Over the years I have lost myself in the illusion of “sexy”… you need to look a certain way, be a certain, size, a certain shape and it really has no substance… It’s shallow and short lived.

I have been all shapes and sizes, I have had countless styles over the years, I have been the gym junkie, tried every diet, had the six pack and the keg. And here is what I know-

Sexy is an inside job- How you feel about yourself, is how other people will feel about you. It’s starts from the inside out. 

Self acceptance is the biggest, most life changing thing you can do for yourself. There is more to life than the shallowness of how society says we should look and feel. In fact, upon research the majority of people said genuine confidence was the most attractive attribute in a woman. Let’s run through the qualities that most appealed to men.


  1. Self confidence.
  2. Eyes
  3. Smile
  4. Genuine self worth
  5. Intelligence
  6. Presence
  7. The ability to hold a conversation
  8. Gratitude
  9. Independence
  10. 10. A kind nature


Personally for me, feeling sexy you can only really feel when you’re comfortable with who you are, as you are and everything in between. It’s the feeling of enjoying the smoothness of your skin against your clothes, it’s the feeling I get whenever I put on beautiful lingerie, it’s the love I feel in my heart for everything I am and everything I have. My body size and shape has changed numerous times, but the love in heart, my zest for life and the ability to look beyond any superficial notion of how I think I should look…. Granted, it sneaks into your awareness, but once we learn to wrap a kind, gentle and understanding language around who we are and love ourselves for who we are, for all that we are, we begin to become that feeling and that is what we put out there to the world and therefore attract.

We can admire a beautiful body and strive to have a healthy vessel, but ultimately sexy is an inside job…. It’s a state of mind.

Embrace who you are, as you are, for who you are and start to notice the small things that make you feel good.


What do you do that puts the spring back into your step? 

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