Inside my lingerie shoot.
WHY I stripped down to NOTHING and the torment I have had around my body my entire life.
WHY we as women need to stop the internal agony that we have around our bodies, our intelligence and start to see ourselves for WHO we really are.
This message NEEDS to be shared.
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For 39 years I have hated my body, I was never skinny enough, toned enough, tall enough, and too curvy and why do I have to have such ginormous breast and what my family have dubbed “Granny’s arse?”
Yet for all the self-loathing that I have done, this body, this vehicle has been with me through beatings, abuse, the beginning of cervical cancer and carried and birthed two children. This body, that is the garden to my soul allows me to mould myself to the love of my life and feel his skin against mine…
Who am I to treat it with such disrespect? At what point will I ever be enough as I am? Not skinnier, not older, not younger, but for I am right here, right now?
It started when I was 11 when I seen a photo of myself and there was a fold in skin under my arms and seen it as a fat roll, that was the beginning of what was to become a slow and tortuous viewpoint I has of myself.
We spend so much of our life trying to fit in; I was never rich enough, mean enough or naughty enough. My “friends” would call me an ugly bitch so much that started to believe it. Then we moved to new town and I was so excited to start again, I was really welcomed with open arms by an amazing community of friends still to this day. I was the new girl and everyone was telling me how pretty I was, I embraced every symbol. One day, I was point on the spot by a teacher and I didn’t know the answer, everyone was telling at me the answer and words escaped my lips. A boy in my class went and told all of his friends “She might be pretty, but ain’t real bright.”
That started another misconception I had about myself.
Smart has many facets, and anyone who says smart as academic, having good spelling and grammar, being about to paint a picture or by being good at sports… now that’s just dumb. We are more than that, so much more… and the more we explore what brings us joy the more we expose who we really are and all the gifts that lay within us…
We place so much focus and desire on how we want to look or how we once looked; we miss moments of joy, love and pleasure now. Everyone deserves to experience deep love and that starts with SELF.