22 August 13

Business, Vulnerability and Brene Brown

I am curious hear your thoughts on how this post resonates with you, what feelings and thoughts you will have reading it…good, bad or indifferent.

As a business owner you think differently, you feel different, you see the world differently and considering that the majority of people have a job that can be so lonely. The probability of finding these people in your day to day life is like finding a needle in a haystack. You talk, and sometimes they look at you like you’ve got two heads. I’ve been asked at times “What drugs I am on?”  And they really don’t believe me when I say NONE…. Never!

Really? Is it that uncommon that someone can love life and be happy and find things to be grateful for everyday?

Go figure…

The fire is burning and that makes me happy.

Social media makes me happy because I get to connect and find likeminded people so that I don’t feel alone in this world.

A gorgeous girl Zoey Martin said something the other day which made me think... Zoey writes and says profound things all the time but ironically it was her expressing gratitude for her dear friend that is “Her person”. I thought “I have a lot of friends and my support network is amazing but do I have ‘a person’?”

That person that knows everything about you and vice versa, your dreams, your problems and your insecurities….when everyone else thinks you’re nuts they understand and don’t judge you. You don’t have to think about what their reaction is going to be when you tell or say something…that person.

I have told you before that sometimes I feel like I really don’t fit a mould, not quite a lingerie blogger, not quite an internet marketer, not quite a ….whatever. Funny because that’s how a felt growing up…like I never fit in, I felt different. I still do.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and growing up everyone told me it was a sign of weakness, I was always the “sooky” one who cried which was… a sign of weakness.

Go figure…

My “weakness” is my number one strength because TODAY I learnt from the amazing Brene Brown, it is vulnerability and many people see it as a sign of weakness but in fact it is not just the fear, negativity and anxiety that makes us vulnerable it is our gateway to joy, happiness, love, laughter, courage, gratitude and creativity. THAT is how I have always been able to feel so much JOY because I have always been vulnerable.

So many insights and learnings today! Overwhelmed and overjoyed with love and gratitude that it was essential I share them with you.

  • Men and women can be both fearful to vulnerability but we express it in different ways.
  • There is no courage in comfort.
  • It is allowing ourselves and being open to intimacy and trust.
  • We want to love, connect and belong {which is why in the past I have struggled because sometimes I felt I didn’t ‘belong’ to one particular thing}
  • Vulnerability is the first ingredient in courage.
  • Sometimes our definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
  • Own it or you are pushing people away.
  • Don’t over share just to hot wire a connection, it comes from ego.
  • Lean in to joy and experience those moments. Stop dress rehearsing tragedy.

It’s worthwhile taking a side note here to say that many people hide behind their business and feel uncomfortable putting themselves “out there” in fear of what people will say, but that is resistance and not letting ourselves be who we really are. A long time ago I had to overcome this and allow myself to step up and into the arena. Grab life by the reins and enjoy the ride with no holding back. Letting myself be myself flaws and all.

It’s what got me my first business though the GFC and it is how a grew into where I am today, perfectly imperfect and growing everyday. This is a massive hurdle for people in business especially if you’ve been in business for a while, because this is all very new. Now is not the time to be safe, because businesses are closing everyday and it is the ones who have played it safe, stood on fence and not embrace the new economy.

Stepping in the “Arena” Brene style

“People think jumping off buildings is courageous but allowing yourself to step into the arena is courageous " Brene Brown

  • You wear no armour.
  • You must have clarity around your values.
  • Have someone who loves you BECAUSE of your vulnerability.
  • Your self worth is NOT dictated by what others think and/or say.
  • When there is no vulnerability there is no innovation or creativity.
  • Learn, move forward, clean up and find JOY.
  • If you are not IN the arena I am NOT interested in your input.
  • Engaging and connecting with people is courageous.
  • When you step into the arena you will get your arse kicked.
  • Comfort or courage it’s NEVER both.
  • Vulnerability is having the courage to show up both winning and losing.

Whoa baby! How does THAT grab you? What resonates with you?

I must thank the following people- Jasmin from WonderWebby because she handed me a tissue when I was crying and I didn’t even realise I was. Fran from Kiss to Sell for taking notes and sharing them with me because I was so immersed in Brene. Thank you, thank you, thank you x

Many people have asked me who is Brene Brown so for you guys here is where I first discovered her. (It’s a must watch!)

Brene's first Ted Talk

Brene's second Ted Talk


 

 

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  • I totally resonate with the “not fitting in” and still do. Often. Daily.

    Is that all part of my vulnerability?

    Thanks for sharing this, Renee. It’s always awesome to get a new perspective, or just a perspective and information I’ve not heard before.

    Glad you had a good day 🙂

  • Great post – I’ve always cried – still do, very easily. I think that for many of us, our “person” is our partner – they love us flaws and all. Particularly once you’ve been an adult for 15 years or so, it’s often less likely to be a girlfriend, as it may have been when we were younger.

    I’ve never felt that I fitted into the blogging scene – not a mommy blogger, not a fashion blogger … but it’s that not fitting in that makes my stuff more unique – and I’m happy with that.
    Imogen Lamport recently posted..3 Essential Elements to Choosing Flattering Prints and Patterns

  • Sue

    Makes a lot of sense. Perhaps it is uncommon to find happy and grateful people around because unfortunately there are many who fail to appreciate little things just be happy about it. Many people fail to realize how happy and beautiful life is. They love to complicate things. Life can be fun, you just have to set your goals and perspective. 🙂

  • Thanks Amanda! I have learnt to just surrender to who I am and make no apologies for being me and I don’t feel like I have to “fit” into any particular mould.

    Rx

  • Thanks so much Imogen! I TOTALLY agree that it makes us unique and that’s a GOOD THING 🙂

    RX

  • I love your words Sue and totally agree! Keep it simple and find joy in the little things 🙂

    Rx

  • I would have loved to have been there Renee – I adore Brene Brown and have been a follower of her work for a while now. I share her TED talks on lots of my workshops – I’ve not come across anyone who doesn’t recognize themselves in what she talks about.

    I can relate so much to what you say too – I think there’s a bit of all of us that feels like the outsider – never quite fitting in. But you are a real talent and put something so unique and perfectly authentic out into the world that I want to thank you for being you – heart on your sleeve and all!
    Jo Casey recently posted..Happiness Is Not Ready Made

  • Thank you so much Jo! Your support means a lot and totally ditto!

    RX
    BraQueen recently posted..Elle MacPherson Intimates & The Disturbing Image

  • I’ve only just “discovered” Brene and she ROCKS!!!

    You though Renee are MY inspiration.
    I love the way you put yourself out there and that you’re always you.
    I love the way you share yourself with us.
    I love the way you are you and not a cheap imitation (or expensive imitation) of anyone else.
    I love the way you speak up and say what you think, even when everyone else is blindly following like sheep 😉
    Chizelle recently posted..5 Ways to work through the fear of the blank page by Heather Shafer

  • Thank you so much Chizelle! That means the world to me because inspire me in so many ways.

    Rx

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