9 October 14

Body Image, Self Loathing and Body Shaming.

When does it start and when does it end?

It is madness and I am trying so hard not to be apart of it.

For years I have tormented my body, felt shame and never liked what I seen in the mirror. I remember when it started, I was 11 when I looked at photo of myself and I seen a fold in my skin under my armpit… I hated it for years.

I was never skinny enough, my big boobs made me look “bigger” then what I was and when I looked in the mirror I would poke and prod whatever I didn’t like.

body image, body shaming

At some point women need to realise that their vehicle (our bodies) have done and are doing such an amazing job. We need be kind to others and ourselves when it comes to how we see others and ourselves.

Body snark is not OK,

  • People who judge other people and how they look is not OK.
  • People who judge others by their body shape is not OK,
  • Slender people can still have fat days and that IS OK.
  • EveryBODY is different, that’s how we are designed to be… just like our personalities are different.
  • Body loathing needs to stop! Nobody wins.
  • Self-expectance is so important, once we do that we can begin to see others with love.

I have two girls and this is something that is extremely important in my house. It is really amazing how many people in jest say to them “Don’t eat that you’ll get fat” or “Look at that big belly” (when there is nothing there) It is not tolerated in my house and I don’t talk about myself in a negative way in front of them and I don’t let anyone else either. Lead by example.

I want them to be kind to themselves and not grow up with the same body image issues and self-loathing that has sadly become the normal for so many people, including me. Surely there is more to life than the shallowness of how society says we should look and feel. Surely everyone is entitled to feel immense and intense happiness, joy and love…. for themselves and others. Remove the judgment of others and ourselves, the harshness of how we think and feel, no one can or should dictate how we feel only we have that key to our soul.

How we perceive our body is not how we look on the outside, but how feel on the inside. I find that ironic.

We need to BE the change, start the conversation and not promote, encourage or be apart of any body shaming.

I want this to become apparent in our lives, the models we use as we start to a movement towards a positive change.

 

 

 

 

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  • I don’t like that photo, because that girl in the mirror is what the anorexic girl thinks is fat and she’s so not

    • braqueen

      That is exactly the point Fiona, most women don’t like what they see in the mirror. We all have a distorted view about how we look and that is what we are hoping to change.

  • Angela East

    So so pressured in society by media aren’t we? First time visitor and immediately drawn to your sidebar and the variety of different shaped women there. Love it.

    • braqueen

      Oh thank you Angela! That means so much to me 🙂

      By society, by the media and issues that we have with us from childhood. This has really sparked debate on my Facebook page which has been interesting.

      Comments such as:

      “I don’t think either girl looks fit or healthy….. The “real” image may not be obese but i’m so over people telling overweight people that they are “just fine” the way they are.If you are “fine’ with being at increased risk for health issues, then fine… otherwise…. wake up!”

      “I get and agree with what you say, Sam, but weight can be affected by a whole range of issues. In my case, my anxiety medication. I have to choose between health issues caused by the weight gain vs health issues caused by a severe anxiety disorder. I choose ‘fat’ and worked on improving how I perceived my body, while exercising more now that I could actually leave the house (agoraphobia prevented me from doing it)”

      ‘Less judgement would be a great start- less ill-educated public condemnation of strangers whose stories we don’t know”

      “I would like to see the fitness industry step up and recognise that weight is a psychological issue. If it was as easy as moving more and eating less, everyone would do it. Sure some folk just don’t care or are lazy. But most battling weight are simply stuck and lost.”

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